This is my stop during the book blitz for Once Upon a Time Bitches by Branden LaNette. This book blitz is organized by Lola’s Blog Tours. The book blitz runs from 21 till 27 October. See the tour schedule here.

 

 

Once Upon a Time Bitches
By Branden LaNette
Genre: Non-Fiction/ Personal Development
Release Date: 9 October 2019

Blurb:
Hi, I’m Branden. That is me on the cover. Yes, I have a boy’s name, a Mom bod, and the tattoos are not photoshopped. Once upon a time I realized we all have a story, we all have a struggle and happiness is relative.
I am not cynical or hardened, I am just stating the facts. Here’s the deal:

Prince Charming doesn’t exist.
Fairy Godmother is drunk.
Glass slippers don’t come 2 day prime shipping from Amazon.

There is no magic fairytale, but if YOU work at it enough you can come pretty close creating your version with a happy ending. The best part is, in life you can continue to make edits until that sh*t reads exactly how you want it to.
You may not agree with everything I say in this book but the most important takeaway is that YOU have to be your own f*cking hero. No more damsel locked in a tower, bullsh*t.

That ends now. Join me as I take you through my 7 Magical Maxims for creating a fairytale life. (I know what you are thinking: Branden, no one gets a fairytale life.) Can you stop being so damn cynical for two seconds and just go with this? Good. Here they are:

#1 Realize that no one is coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
#2: Accept total responsibility for every damn aspect of your life.
#3: Stop comparing yourself to others and just f*cking be you.
#4: Dream dreams that are so big they make people doubt you.
#5: Your life is the sum of your choices.Choose well.
#6: Eliminate everything evil and negative from your kingdom.
#7: Love yourself so hard you have an abundance to share with others.

Is it possible to design a fairytale life? Control your destiny? Be the hero in your story? I believe you can and that’s why I wrote this book I am going to make you a little uncomfortable. Back out now if you aren’t ready.

Sh*t is about to get real bitches…

You can find Once Upon a Time Bitches on Goodreads

You can buy Once Upon a Time Bitches here:
– Amazon ebook
– Amazon paperback
– Barnes & Noble

REVIEW

Once Upon a Time Bitches is written in a motivated, no nonsense, blunt, way. Her advice is practical and doable. There is a lot of cursing – but in a totally appropriate way (however, if you’re opposed to cursing, this book isn’t for you). This is a self-help book that guides you control your destiny. It’s written in a non-preachy, down to earth, fun way. It’s okay to be a hot mess. Success is different for everyone. Most importantly, success for you is whatever YOU say it is. As she outlines her 7 Maxims (truths) she encourages you to create a better life for yourself. A big takeaway for me is the section on your Quest for Joy, comparing happiness versus joy. A fun, encouraging, inspiring read.

Reviewed by Comfy Chair Books/Lisa Reigel (October 11, 2019)

Thank you to author/publisher/Lola’s Blog Tour Promos for Paperback ARC

EXCERPT

Success is different for everyone, clearly. Right now, with an 8-month-old baby in my arms as I type this, I define success as getting clothes onto both of us.

Success doesn’t have anything to do with your bank account, either. So don’t think you can’t speak up in a meeting or approach someone with a business idea just because you think they’re “more successful” than you are. Fantastic Fran may be making $1 million per year and you’ve only got only $47.22 in the bank.

Your idea could be worth $10 million, maybe more, who knows? You’ll never know unless you speak up and take a chance.

Success also has nothing to do with followers, likes or clicks. And it sure as fuck isn’t about approval from friends and family.

Move the f on with that sh*t.

“Success” is what you say it is. It is waking up 😊AF to be alive. Success is wearing your heart on the outside and sharing a gift with another human. Success is happiness in the things you do, not in the things you have.

Success isn’t ANYTHING anyone else tells you it is. It’s what you tell yourself it is. Which ultimately means that, if you’re taking my advice, you should ignore everything I just said success is and/or isn’t because, in the end, only you can define what in the fuck success is for you. Only you.

Only you.

Don’t let me or anyone else define what makes you happy. Your inner feelings define what success is, and your smile describes it to the world.

Fran thinks I am a hot mess, and she’s right. Karen thinks I’m a superstar, and she’s right, too. Neither of their opinions affect my definition. Neither of their judgements dulls my shine.

I know I’m a success because I have everything I’ve ever wanted, saggy boobs and all. I could do without some of the cellulite, but now we’re just nitpicking.

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About the Author:
Branden LaNette doesn’t look like a typical author but she has long ignored what she “should” do, say and look like. On her own at a very young age, Branden eventually found herself with the wrong guy, the wrong job, and a bleak future. The fairytale she was promised as a child never materialized.

Finally, Branden decided that she wanted something different for her life, and realized no one was going to do it for her. Prince charming wasn’t coming to save her—she’d have to save herself.

Step by step, decision by decision, through major trials and tribulations that would stop most people in their tracks, Branden learned how to turn heartbreak into happiness and self-judgement into inner joy.

Today, Branden LaNette is an entrepreneur, coach, speaker, wife, and stay-at-home Mom to six C-section babies (ages 1-16) and way too many f-ing pets. Somehow, however, she manages to juggle all of this effortlessly (a blatant lie) while pushing her way through the kinds of fear and self-doubts that whisper within all of us (totally true) to achieve her goals. Her most recent dream come true is this book, one that is destined to have a major impact on millions of women across the globe (or at least nine people in Michigan.)

Through it all, she has found her happiness, her joy, and more importantly, her voice.

You can find and contact Branden LaNette here:
– Website
– Facebook profile
– Facebook page
– Twitter
– Instagram